eye.

i am somewhere in russia.somewhere between berlin and prague.im a mess like communist europe.i wish to straighten my jacket,comb my hair,put out that cigarette,spray some colonge and walk out into the courtyard.embrace friends,past lovers,family.but i,like everyone,am consumed by the primal need that is 'self'.i can stand,strong like iron,solitary,against the battering of relationships,affections and love but i will slowly but surely break.and when i break,i then will become a better man.

paradigm shift.

day and night.hours like sand.slip away.precious moments melt.like yesteryear's memories.and i cannot pretend to be at peace as time whizzes by my sides as adverts on billboards.sharp;sudden.we change change change.i hope to hide somewhere under my bedsheets of the past.

hands down.

let me be honest.im a wreck.i stroll by my life with kitchen knives on my head,while soothing sinatra classics play in the backdrop.im hardly secure.im hardly healthy.im hardly beautiful.and there are people who want to believe im wonderful and i dont want to prove them wrong.im not sixteen anymore i know but im not twentyone either.im something-teen.i feel old but im young.so i do youthful things.i get drunk.i make out with you and you.i smoke.i get drunk again.and its stupid but this is the time of our lives.and i cannot waste it though i feel empty.i can carry on strolling by my life even though she is miles and miles away,freezing in the german winter.and i can carry on even though she dosent love me anymore.i can carry on because i can get drunk.because i can make out with you and you.because i can smoke.because i can get drunk again.

the new year.

So this is the new year.
And i don't feel any different.
The clanking of crystal
Explosions off in the distance (in the distance).
So this is the new year
And I have no resolutions
For self assigned penance
For problems with easy solutions

So everybody put your best suit or dress on
Let's make believe that we are wealthy for just this once
Lighting firecrackers off on the front lawn
As thirty dialogues bleed into one

I wish the world was flat like the old days
Then i could travel just by folding a map
No more airplanes, or speedtrains, or freeways
There'd be no distance that can hold us back.
There'd be no distance that could hold us back

So this is the new year - Death Cab for Cutie.