bang bang.

i was five and he was six
we rode on horses made of sticks
he wore black and I wore white
he would always win the fight
bang bang, he shot me down
bang bang, I hit the ground
bang bang, that awful sound
bang bang, my baby shot me down
seasons came and changed the time
when I grew up, I called him mine
he would always laugh and say
"remember when we used to play?"
bang bang, I shot you down
bang bang, you hit the ground
bang bang, that awful sound
bang bang, I used to shoot you down
music played and people sang
just for me the church bells rang
now he's gone, I don't know why
and till this day, sometimes I cry
he didn't even say goodbye
he didn't take the time to lie
bang bang, he shot me down
bang bang, I hit the ground
bang bang, that awful sound
bang bang, my baby shot me down - Nancy Sinatra, 'Bang Bang'.

skies and highs.

planes on clouds;
i stare envious like children.
i want to fly.away
to scotland or someplace.
could you would you take me?
sky lights on lonesome nights
like tonight do harm to
lonesome souls like mine.
im delicate like china.
like glass.like her face.
oh to grow wings
and soar to her like
these planes that pass pass pass
these stars.

from boys to soldiers.

my feet are crying today because they hurt.i swear i could just sit down and not move anywhere.and then grow old in the same chair.
my boys graduated last night...it was heartwarming to see.even more so when they introduced me to their families.i guess in some sense what i do is worth it...to make a difference to these men and their lives.maybe.but i will definitely carry on to despise having to wake up at 5 every fucken morning.

spheres of time.

i spent the whole week disconnected.i've felt like this before i think.you swallow minute after minute in the name of work and you find the days speed by like wasps.home is a distant noun.and rest even further.i traded cigarettes for sleep last week.night after night.i count the days to when i might dictate my own work.the counting is tedious like the math i never was good at.and i laugh because with the end of last week comes this week...with the same days,same people and same nights.